Sara [talking about flip flops]: It takes a special kind of person to let a little *makes cross with fingers* like a stick in between your two toes, like eughh. Who lets that - I don’t understand what kind of person lets that happen to them, you know?
I ordered a grilled cheese sandwich but the lady was like ‘I’m not… you can’t… there’s no grilled cheese on the menu’ and I was like um I think there is. And then she was like ‘yeah, but it’s on the kid’s menu’ and I was like so what? I mean, who knew that once you were 12 and up it was like ‘no more bread and cheese for you’
Probably to a fault in my own personal relationships I’ve struggled with this overpowering compassion. Just last night I was talking with a friend about an ex-partner who I was with for five years, and then when we broke up I spent two years trying to make it work as a friendship. People told me to let it go, that it was too painful, it wasn’t normal—but to me it felt so profoundly sad that I would completely detach from this person who I had this intense, wonderful relationship with, who knew me so well and who I shared such compassion with even if there were things about our relationship that became wrong or difficult. I witnessed that with my parents’ friendship: when they broke up they had to overcome terrible things between them, but they put those things aside to raise us—at least, they put those things aside in a way that made those things not our responsibility. I grew up with that forgiving compassion around me, and for me, that’s the real struggle, however passionate or hurt we feel. There’s this panic to make it okay, to make the person happy, to be forgiven.